This week i promise not to attempt or even think about attempting suicide because its the week of my birthday and i would like to have a good week that it wont even cross my mind
i almost killed myself on wednesday but the amount of pills i ended up taking wasnt enough to kill me.
here is an awkward photo of me from about an hour ago because most of my followers probably dont know what i look like so now you know.
I just keep telling myself “You need to stay alive! She wont be able to get better if you die. She might commit suicide too”
I just want out. I cant take it anymore
I dont want to sound selfish or anything but if she dies too, that means we will be together forever like i always dreamed of.
Everything i have worked toward to achieve is just crumbling away and im done trying to keep it together. Im tired of acting like im okay. I need to tell my therapist about all this because i know i will feel alot better but if i tell her about the self harm and the suicide attempts, she will tell my parents and then everything i have worked towards is just going to fall to pieces. I just want to overdose enough that i wake up in the hospital so i can see who really cared enough to see if i was okay or not.
I took a couple more doses of my medication than im supposed to this morning and nothing really happened.
I actually feel pretty good.
I technically over dosed but it wasnt enough to do significant damage. It would take pretty much a whole bottle of my medication to do alot of damage